If you grew up in the 90's...

......Chances are, you owned a delicious pair of these.

Paula Deen

I couldn't possibly do a piece on Food Network Stars without including Paula Deen. There is a soft spot in my heart for Paula, I truly adore watching her shows. Although she gets a lot of critiscm for being really unhealthy (I just saw an episode where she used 4 sticks of butter in a dessert dish) and she is, you don't make Paula food when you're on a diet. I think I'm such a big fan because she has a great story. Single mom, suffering from agroaphobia (fear of leaving the house) for many years. She started her business from scratch and her boys have always played an integral role in her restaurants and t.v. shows. No, you can't make your primary diet from Paula Deen recipes but if you're looking for a great comfort food experience definitely give one of her dishes a whirl.

Ina Garten

I have a love/hate relationship with Ina Garten. Although she consistently says things that totally make me crazy, I am loyal about tuning into her show.

The Good:

• Ina knows her stuff. She had a very successful catering business in the Hamptons and she continually is spot on with most of her recipes. I
• She takes the simplicity approach and makes some relatively 'fancy' meals seem doable. She loves French dishes and because of her I tackled my first French course at home.

The Bad:

• She usually has very long ingredient lists. I like to think I have a well stocked pantry, but you can usually find 5 or 6 ingredients not on hand. That's a problem, especially when she calls for an exotic ingredient you will only get one use out of.
• You must be able to tolerate her mentioning her husband Jeffrey at least 3 times in every episode. Within no time you will know everything you could ever want to about Jeffrey.
• Ina constantly has friends over and they are either A. Flaming Gay Men or B. Over the top Jewish. She has no happy medium. I have nothing against either party, I would just like to see a little bit of a change up every so often.

The Ugly:

• Here is my biggest beef with Ina. She is NOTORIOUS for using over the top expensive ingredients in 'simple' dishes. She also constantly reminds you that if you don't use the best ingredients your recipe will be ruined. (ex: If you don't use FREE RANGE beef in your hambuger patties you might as well throw them away because regular ground beef won't be as good. OR Unless you can find the top of the line saffron for this dish, you shouldn't make it because it won't be as good). C'mon Ina, I'm all about using quality ingredients, but I just can't suck up spending $7.99 a pound for free range ground beef!
• We know you are rich. We know you live in the Hamptons...you can stop driving us around in your Benz! That's just plain annoying and you do it like 3 or 4 episodes per month.

Although I have some gripes with Ina, overall she has a great show (in my opinion) and I will continue to watch her....even if it means I'm yelling at the t.v.

Anne Burrell

Anne Burrell. Where do I even start? This woman is possibly the most annoying human beings on planet Earth. I have no idea how she secured her own show (she was Mario Batali's sous chef on Iron Chef) let alone keep it on the air. I think that she tries to be edgy. She says words like 'crap' and 'party' all the time (ex: beat the crap out of this chicken) but it doesn't work. She comes off as an old broad trying to be cool/hip. Even if you can get past her non-funny jokes (that she always laughs at) the sound effects will drive you crazy. She makes this weird 'grunting' noise regularly and it makes it all that more painful to watch her. My friend Vinnie summed it up perfectly. He said "she looks like Miss Piggy" and you know what....he's right. I've got no love for Anne Burrell. Luckily I don't think this post will bother anyone cuz I haven't met a person yet who thinks she's funny.

Bobby Flay

Dear Mr. Flay,

I got a bone to pick with you. I like to consider myself a 'foodie' so when the opportunity of meeting you in Las Vegas came along, I jumped at the chance. A friend and I bought tickets to several Bon Appetit events that were being held throughout Vegas. As you can imagine they weren't cheap. We didn't mind, we were stoked at the fact that we could meet some of our most favorite chefs while sampling their food. Everyone was nice but YOU. In fact, you were a pompous ass! You refused to sign any autographs (even though folks shelled out over $75 for your cookbook), you refused to take pictures (even though the 2 hour event cost almost $200) and you even refused to cook (you sent in your employees from Mesa to cook for you). You, Mr. Flay are an asshole. Your attitude sucked and you left a bad taste in quite a few peoples mouths. You need to remember that it is your fans that made you (and keep you) famous, acting like a tool isn't a cool thing to do.

Sincerely,

Dawn Barron

P.S. I never would have realized you were so small just by watching you on t.v., it took me standing right next to you. Perhaps it's a Napolean complex?!

Sandra Lee (Aunt Sandy)

The next chef I'm going to talk about is the lovely Sandra Lee, or Aunt Sandy as she sometimes calls herself. Sandra wrote a book about her troubled childhood. She never knew her father and her mother was addicted to nose spray (no lie). Her grandmother raised her and her sister and you can often hear her mention them both on the show. She is also LOVES talking about her nephew Bryce (whom she affectionately calls Brycer).

I'm not a big fan of Sandra Lee. I've tried really hard to 'get into her', but it just doesn't work. She has this weird Valley Girl type of talk that just drives me crazy. She also has a habit of matching her outfit to the design scheme in her kitchen (she above picture). That's just ridiculous in my book. Who does that?! Her tablescapes also push me over the edge. Some of the ideas are cute, but I just don't have the time to visit a craft store and assemble place cards for my dinner table.

But to be fair, this is a Food Network show, so her cooking technique should be the focus here. With that being said, I'm still not a fan. Sandra is big on the shortcut idea (and so am I), but alot of her recipes are things I would never even try. For instance, she once made a birthday cake by purchasing 3 different size sheet cakes from a grocery store. She piled them on top of each other, surrounded them by more store bought cupcakes and frosted it. Blah, no thanks. Her money saving food show caught my eye briefly, but the amounts of ingredients she uses is so ridiculous I have a hard time taking her seriously (0.39 cents worth of vodka, 0.84 cents worth of oatmeal), c'mon Sandra....where can I buy 39 cents worth of vodka?!

Overall I give her 2 out of 5 stars.

Rachael Ray

I'm an avid Food Network t.v. watcher. In fact, I probably watch this station more than any other. I thought it might be fun to revisit my blog and write a little something about my favorite (or least favorite) Food Network personalities.

I decided to begin with Rachael Ray. I couldn't help but resist using the pictures from her FHM shoot. Too funny.

Rachael is the Food Network queen. She is super perky, always smiling and she really likes to play up the fact that she is not a classically trained chef. She prefers to be known as an at-home cook like you and I. For the most part I like Rachael. Perhaps it's her strong work ethic. She's got a few shows on Food Network, her own talk show (that is doing quite well), a line of dog food and her own magazine. She also cranks out 3-5 cookbooks per year. Not bad. On the downside, Rachael can be a tad annoying. She loves to meld words (stoup=stew/soup, EVOO=extra virgin olive oil) and she giggles quite a bit. Her meals are pretty good and I own 3 or 4 of her cookbooks. Overall I like Rachael. Although she can be a tad bit PERKY her recipes have always turned out to be winners in my book and they are quick and simple...exactly what I'm looking for.

Name That Food!

The game is simple. I will write down the ingredients of a popular breakfast food and you'll guess it. This should be a cinch for all you parents out there. Ok let's play...

Ingredients:

Corn flour, sugar, oat flour, brown sugar, coconut oil, salt, sodium citrate, partially hydrogenated soybean oil (trans fat), natural and artificial flavor, strawberry juice concentrate, malic acid, maltodextrin, modified food starch, yellow 5, red 40, yellow 6, blue 1, BHT.

Ok folks, name that "food".

Two peas in a pod....

I've known Vinnie since I was 18 and moved here. I've met a lot of people, but I usually don't click with many. He is one of my best friends. This dude is one of the very few people who can make me laugh. His sense of humor is as warped as mine and I love it. I showed up after work and this fucker had the day off, was drunk, and was dressed like this when I came there. I laughed so hard I cried. Really...who is this weird???......I LOVE THAT. Here is to one of the coolest/weirdest/most understanding guys around. Vinnie I love u!!!

R.I.P. Corey Haim

I was on the way to work this morning when I heard the news Corey Haim had been found dead due to an apparent O.D. He was 38 years old and has had a string of issues the past decade or so. For anyone who grew up in the 80's, Corey Haim was larger than life. He and Corey Feldman appeared in alot of popular movies together. (License to Drive is still one of my favorite movies).

I will never understand what it must be like rising (and falling) in Hollywood. So many celebrities die young and from drugs. It really is sad.

R.I.P. Corey.

Single, never married, no kids (and HAPPY)

I will be 32 this year and I am one of the very few people left that are SINGLE, NEVER MARRIED, NO KIDS. I didn't really plan on being single this long and it has never bothered me. I am not against marriage or children, I just haven't found the right person. When I was in my 20's I had a long list of things I needed for a relationship, and finding someone with no kids was one of them. Now that I'm 31, it's nearly impossible finding someone in my same boat. I have since changed the way I thought, and I would absolutely date someone with kids, but it's just weird having to pick through all of the crap out there. I don't want to 'settle', I don't want to be one of those people totally miserable with their spouse and I definitely don't want to tie the knot with the first person who asks. I'm sure my family would love it if I hurried up and settled down, but for now I'm enjoying the single life and continue on my selective quest on finding the right mate.

Spam

Does anyone out there actually eat this? Seriously. If you eat this by CHOICE (and not because you're poor or you are forced to) I would love to hear from you. I guess my main question is why? My mother was never a big cook, but luckily we never had to have Spam. I tend to stick to the rule of 'no canned meat'. Blah.

Hummer

If you drive one of these and you are not in a battle zone, fighting a war, you and I probably won't get along. Can any person actually justify owning one of these?? If I'm missing something, please fill me in.

Ghettoness of the Week Part II

For some reason I can't help but be envious of the jello mold.....

Ghettoness of the week (LOL!).....

Dave Chapelle

This is the funniest dude on planet Earth, no questions asked.

Damn Dave, I miss your show so much. You be funny, funny, funny!

I'm rich bitch!!!

Argh!

I had my last cigarette 6 days ago. I'm feeling like poop and I want to light up an entire pack and smoke it all at once, just like the guy in the above picture. But I'm not....I'm gonna stick with this and hang in there.

I'm miserable. Smoking sucks!!!!

No shame in his game...

For those of you that don't follow politics, this is Rod Blagojevich, the ousted governor of Illinois. He is charged with many things, including 'pay to play' tactics and also trying to sell Barack Obama's senate seat to the highest bidder (for realz). He is a disgrace to our state.



It was announced this week that he was going to be a contestant on the next installment of Celebrity Apprentice (he tried to whore himself out on I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, but his probation at the time forbidded him to leave the country so he sent his lovely wife Patty to appear in his place).



I hope this loser gets voted off the first week. He doesn't deserve a DIME of the prize money.



Hey Rod, maybe you'll tell all the other celebrities how you THREATENED TO WITHHOLD MONIES TO CHILDREN'S MEMORIAL HOSPITAL unless they donated to your campaign. Better yet, maybe you can try to explain that to all the sick children's parents.



You my friend are a bottom feeder. I hope you get major time during sentencing and they treat you like the bitch you are in prison.



Have a nice day.

Reason #38 I don't live in the city....

For those of you that don't live in the city of Chicago, the above picture depicts how you properly save your spot in winter. Parking in Chi-town is a bitch to begin with, but throw in snow parking rules and you've got an all out war.

Here's how it goes down: a person shovels out their spot when they leave and they place a piece of furniture in said spot to save it (usually a lawn chair, orange construction cone or even small pieces of furniture). If you are stupid enough to move the object and park there, don't be surprised if your car is f**ked up the next morning. Ghetto.

Not having to deal with this is one of the very few benefits of living in the burbs. Just my 2 cents.

Ghettoness of the week...

Nuff said.

Naked Cowboy

A few weeks ago the Naked Cowboy made his way across the country and landed in Chicago outside of Union Station. The 35 degree weather didn't stop him from doing his thing. I became intrigued and did some more research on him. Turns out, the Naked Cowboy is racking in about $1k per day....not bad, not bad at all.

Keep shaking your ass Naked Cowboy.

WTF?!

"Pregnancy Pact" is the name of the made for t.v. movie based on true events in a Mass. highschool. An astounding 17 girls got pregnant INTENTIONALLY because they thought it would be cool to raise a baby together (one of the 'fathers' was a 24 year old homeless guy).

Shit like this blows me away. I was by no means a good teenager, in fact, I was quite the crazy kid. But back in my day, we tried our hardest not to get pregnant.

For the life of me, I can't wrap my brain around this whole scenario. It is so sad and disgusting all at the same time.

Huh?!

Today a coworker asked to use my Carmex. It's not a nice tube like the one above, but the actual stick.

She and I are pretty good friends as far as 'office peeps' go, but her request kind of caught me off guard.

I'm not sure what kind of look I had on my face, but she quicly followed up with 'it's not like i have herpes or anything'.

I didn't know what to do so like I fool I shoved my Carmex in my pocket and walked away.

She's still pissed.

Ghettoness of the week...

I have a confession to make. I have an area in my apt. that looks like this. *Sigh*. Yes I keep things very neat and tidy, but there is a certain place that no one goes...and it's my closet. It has so much junk and crap that I walk in...grab what I need and walk out real quick so I don't have to look at my mess, never mind that I trip and almost break my neck on the countless bags and shoes I have on the floor.

I'm not sure why, but maybe I like it that way. Everything else is in such order, that perhaps I need a little bit of chaos to stir things up? Or maybe I'm just lazy and refuse to clean it! Whatever the case may be, I just thought I would let you know that my closet it horrendously messy. There...now you can continue on with your day.

Pants on the ground...

I'm sure you are all familiar with General 'Pants on the ground' Larry Platt. What I didn't know is what an amazing role this gentleman took during the civil rights movement. After reading this article, I love Larry even more. http://www.usatoday.com/communities/idolchatter/post/2010/01/general-larry-platt-a-closer-look/1

Seriously?!

Heidi Montag is 23 years old and was just featured on the cover of People magazine for undergoing 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day. For those of you who do not know her, she's famous, for well...being infamous. She is part of the reason why 12 year old girls are shoving their fingers down their throats to get rid of lunch. She is SCREAMING the wrong message to a group of young women in society that are already being surrounded by distorted views on what 'women' should look like. She makes me sick.

Being a Packer fan

In my opinion, Packers fans are the best fans out there! We have no problem sitting in sub zero weather to cheer our team on. No problem traveling across the country to catch a game. We are proud of the Lambeau Leap, our infamous Cheeseheads and Vince Lombardi. We help shovel out the stadium in bad weather, we will tailgate for hours in freezing weather and dammit we can cook a mean brat. I am proud to be a Packers fan (in Bear country) and I will continue to love my team win or lose.

Although we had a heartbreaking playoff loss, I'm excited to see what we look like next season and already counting down the days. :-) Go Pack Go!

Devastation

It makes me incredibly sad to think about what the people of Haiti are going through. There is no way, I can comprehend on ANY LEVEL what it must be like right now. Watching the coverage on the news is humbling to say the least. It really makes me take a step back and realize everything I have. It also makes me realize what an asshole I am for getting upset that my local convenience store was out of my 'favorite' water. All the little things I take for granted when others are going without basic necessities to live. Reality check time Dawn!

Sending much love to the people of Haiti.

People are people

Alot doesn't need to be said about the above picture. It's sickening. So glad it's over right?? Wrong. When will we realize that humans beings are just that, and allow everyone the right to get married? One day we'll look back at this whole 'gay marriage' debate and cringe...just like we're cringing at the picture posted here.

Just my two cents...

Blog world

Although it's 2010 and lots of people already have blogs, I haven't followed many and I didn't have one of my own. When I decided to start one, the whole thing seemed a bit odd. Who am I to think that my thoughts/rants/whatever actually want to be heard by everyone?! I mean, who really cares if I had road rage that day and what I had for breakfast.

Blogging almost seems a little like voyeurism to me. People peeking in to your private (but very public) thoughts. Interesting.

Scandal...

So much scandal surrounding Tiger right now. I don't agree at what has gone down, but the realist in me understands that this is not out of the ordinary for anyone in 'the business'. In fact, I think it's safe to wager that this type of thing happens more often than not.

I can't imagine what his wife and family are going through. Sux.

Irritating...

A friend started talking about cell phone usage today on Facebook and I thought that would be a good opportunity for me to go on one of my (many) rants.



It's 2010 and in my opinion cell phones have gotten completely out of control. When I graduated highschool (1996) there was not a single person in my entire school that owned a cellphone. Now EVERYONE seems to have one. Not a problem, I love my phone, but here a just a few rules to follow folks:

• You should not be using the bluetooth ear piece unless you're in a vehicle. Period. I really hate you annoying bastards who feel the need to talk in the grocery store, pharmacy, or anywhere in public for that matter.


• The "Wacky Frog" ringtone is cute...if you're 10.


• "Texting" in sick to work is not cool. Ever. Pick up the phone and call.


• When I'm in a restaurant trying to enjoy a meal and you are on the phone talking away, well that's just plain rude! How would you like it if I shoved the cellphone up your ass?? You wouldn't now would you? Ok, that's how I feel when I hear you gabbing at the table next to me. Take it to the lobby!


• When you're taking any form of public transportation (except cabs...they have their own rules) get off the phone. There's nothing worse than a long Metra ride home, having to listen to Bambi go off on her boyfriend. Blah.
  

My first blog.

Well kids, here goes nothing. I've decided today to start a blog. I've waited a while to do so, because I thought, who the hell would be interested in what I had to say (or think) for that matter? Then I realized my Facebook statuses were getting longer and longer and longer....well you get the picture.

So welcome to my blog. For those that know me, I can be funny, crass, loud and opinionated and I expect my blog to be the same. :-)